Radio Two Shitefest

I haven’t done this in a while, for various reasons too dull to mention. Anyhoo, I’m going to be a bit briefer than before, so that it seems easier to do. And also because my critical faculties don’t really extend beyond ‘this is shit’ and ‘this is transcendent’.

I’m only basing this on this week’s playlist on Radio Two, as I have failed to note down what got my attention recently. Finally, there’s a whole new section, now - not only is there Good and Bad, but also a section for the songs I am Unsure about! Woo.

nb, some of the videos are not proper videos, just those shoddy fan videos you get on Youtube.

GOOD

Richard Hawley – Serious – this reminds me of something I can’t identify. I don’t think it’s much of a song really, but it’s catchy enough. The video is amusing.

Kylie – Two Hearts – of course this is going to be great. Plucky Kylie etc etc.

UNSURE

Take That - Rule The World I quite like this, but my 16 year old self is recoiling in horror. To appease this I imagine that it’s being performed by Suede, and that helps a great deal. Besides the lyrics are kind of Prozac Brett Anderson anyway.

Seal – Amazing – I never knew that Seal’s real name was Seal Henry Olusegun Olumide Adeola Samuel until I looked on Wikipedia. Now I know. I’ve never been a fan, and this song hasn’t changed that but it’s a bit of an earworm, I’ll give it that much. If it was by Unkle Jam I'd probably give it an easier time.

Mika - Happy Ending – it utterly pains me to say this, but this would make a passable Scissors Sisters b-side, and is therefore classifiable as ‘not absolutely fucking mind numbingly dreadful’, therefore elevating it many levels above Mika’s previous effluvia.

The Hoosiers - Goodbye Mr A I want to hate this, I hated the previous single, and feel this is very similar, but it’s somehow not as awful. I would make the ELO comparison but it’s been done to death.

Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love – I’ve only heard this once, and a perverse 5% of me wants to like it. It’s how I imagine power ballads were like in early 1990s South America. Although thinking about it I’m not sure why this would be a good thing.

BAD

Amy MacDonald - L.A. – Her previous single was dire, yet this surpasses it in the shite stakes. I can’t quite express the baffled rage I feel in regard to this song, and indeed to her. I honestly cannot believe that anyone would think her voice is at all pleasant – it’s almost comedically low, and ‘oirish’ to the point of being distorted. I saw her do it live on some TV show, and she dropped her voice at least an octave, and it was fucking bizarre. And wrong. Perhaps she is an elaborate joke. I hope so.

Orson – Ain’t No Party – Tedious, just tedious. The singer’s voice is retarded, they’re clearly gay for Toploader, and have written this song expressly with the intention of it getting using in adverts and the other inbetween bits of telly. If I’m ever at one of their parties I’m going to kill myself. After I've dispatched with them and their moronic mates that is.

Ben’s Brother – Carry On - My antipathy to this lot is already known, and nothing has changed with this song, it basically the same song as last time, so I won’t repeat myself. Basically, they really shouldn’t ‘carry on’.