PJM 2007

Here is the tracklisting for my end of the year roundup CD, with reasons for choosing them. No one has heard it yet, but still.

1. JOHN BARRY – THE WHISPERERS

I watched this film when it was on the telly.

2. IAN BROWN – ILLEGAL ATTACKS

I particularly like Sinead O'Connor's contribution to this record. It is also here as a tribute to me seeing Ian Brown having a fag outside his hotel in Reading.

3. STYLE COUNCIL – SHOUT TO THE TOP (INSTRUMENTAL)

Not sure why this is here. It's good though. Better with the words, mind.

4. R DEAN TAYLOR – THERE'S A GHOST IN MY HOUSE

Got this on a Motown compilation for a quid out of Fopp before it went into meltdown.

5. GRINDERMAN – NO PUSSY BLUES

Apart from everything else, what I really love is the guitar sound, which is one of those little guitars. I did some research and found out that they are called travel guitars.

6. DINOSAUR JR – ALMOST READY

This is just brilliant really.

7. EDWYN COLLINS – HOME AGAIN

I went to his comeback concert.

8. JONA LEWIE – STOP THE CAVALRY

From the Stiff Records box set, most of which is rubbish. It was cheap, but I would still like my money back. Roogalator.

9 and 10 ROKY ERICKSON – BERMUDA/THE INTERPRETER

Again, I went to a concert, in this case, Roky Erickson's British debut. It was good, but nowhere near as good as these two songs, which are from a 7 inch single originally.

11 and 12 THE MONKS – CUCKOO/I CAN'T GET OVER YOU

This is a 7 inch single too, now extra tracks on the CD of the album. Edith has spent the past few minths asking for "cucko music", so I am always delighted when I come across something that fits that description.

13. TONY CONRAD WITH FAUST – THE DEATH OF THE COMPOSER WAS IN 1962

I went to a Tony Conrad concert in which he droned on for bleeding ages. Here is a nice short drone from his session with Faust.

14. TELEVISION – BLANK GENERATION (LIVE)

From a Richard Hell compilation CD, which might be the album of the year if I could be bothered listening to it more often.

15. YOKO ONO/J SPACEMAN – WALKING ON THIN ICE

From an album in which "guests" do new music for Yoko Ono songs. They are all pretty good, but this one stands out for me as WALL OF PAIN of the year.

16. SUPER FURRY ANIMALS – WALK AWAY

Bought this especially for this end of the year roundup. Had never heard it before, but it is good. Reminds me of the Dion does Roy Wood and Wizzard extra track on Dion's Born To Be With You (?) CD reisssue. And it has been another year of Wales in my head.

17. ESG – ERASE YOU

From a "rarities" CD, which I think is better than the non rarities CD I got a few years ago. I suppose the word is "insistent".

18. GORDON JACKSON – THE JOURNEY

19. LAURIE JOHNSON – THE PROFESSIONALS

My idea of a joke. Still, they are both very good. I find Gordon Jackson a bit too much like hard work, as is true with most of the folkies that are being dusted off these days. I hope they are all growers. This track is the most "psychedelic" on a fairly plodding album.

20. JOHN LENNON – NOBODY TOLD ME

I like this song. It is from the soundtrack to the film "John Lennon vs the USA" which was on the telly at some point. All the tracks on the soundtrack are political in some way. Here we are concerned with "Nazis in the bathroom", which has inspired me to draw a little Hitler moustache on our Toilet Duck.

It has very much been a year of Nazis too, what with "Downfall" and "Winnie and Wolf" both dealing with the Fuhrer.

I am begining to warm to my task, but there are only two tracks left.

21. CANDIE PAYNE – ONE MORE CHANCE (INSTRUMENTAL)

This is a Mark Ronson production. It has been his year as well. I hate the little twat. I like Candie Payne though, for bringing back kitchen sink psychedelia, my favourite imaginary genre
.
22. WHITE NOISE – BLACK MASS: AN ELECTRIC STORM IN HELL

I hadn't actually heard this before putting it on here.

God Gave Rock and Roll To You

Here is a zip file of mp3s of my "best of" for 2007. It is a bit early, but who cares? At a later date I shall provide detailed sleevenotes and link to vaguely related videos, but in the meantime, here is the zip a de doodah:

http://www.gigasize.com/get.php?d=r1vo6xtk7tc

I hope it proves entertaining, perhaps on a long journey or at the launderette.

Radio Two Shitefest

I haven’t done this in a while, for various reasons too dull to mention. Anyhoo, I’m going to be a bit briefer than before, so that it seems easier to do. And also because my critical faculties don’t really extend beyond ‘this is shit’ and ‘this is transcendent’.

I’m only basing this on this week’s playlist on Radio Two, as I have failed to note down what got my attention recently. Finally, there’s a whole new section, now - not only is there Good and Bad, but also a section for the songs I am Unsure about! Woo.

nb, some of the videos are not proper videos, just those shoddy fan videos you get on Youtube.

GOOD

Richard Hawley – Serious – this reminds me of something I can’t identify. I don’t think it’s much of a song really, but it’s catchy enough. The video is amusing.

Kylie – Two Hearts – of course this is going to be great. Plucky Kylie etc etc.

UNSURE

Take That - Rule The World I quite like this, but my 16 year old self is recoiling in horror. To appease this I imagine that it’s being performed by Suede, and that helps a great deal. Besides the lyrics are kind of Prozac Brett Anderson anyway.

Seal – Amazing – I never knew that Seal’s real name was Seal Henry Olusegun Olumide Adeola Samuel until I looked on Wikipedia. Now I know. I’ve never been a fan, and this song hasn’t changed that but it’s a bit of an earworm, I’ll give it that much. If it was by Unkle Jam I'd probably give it an easier time.

Mika - Happy Ending – it utterly pains me to say this, but this would make a passable Scissors Sisters b-side, and is therefore classifiable as ‘not absolutely fucking mind numbingly dreadful’, therefore elevating it many levels above Mika’s previous effluvia.

The Hoosiers - Goodbye Mr A I want to hate this, I hated the previous single, and feel this is very similar, but it’s somehow not as awful. I would make the ELO comparison but it’s been done to death.

Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love – I’ve only heard this once, and a perverse 5% of me wants to like it. It’s how I imagine power ballads were like in early 1990s South America. Although thinking about it I’m not sure why this would be a good thing.

BAD

Amy MacDonald - L.A. – Her previous single was dire, yet this surpasses it in the shite stakes. I can’t quite express the baffled rage I feel in regard to this song, and indeed to her. I honestly cannot believe that anyone would think her voice is at all pleasant – it’s almost comedically low, and ‘oirish’ to the point of being distorted. I saw her do it live on some TV show, and she dropped her voice at least an octave, and it was fucking bizarre. And wrong. Perhaps she is an elaborate joke. I hope so.

Orson – Ain’t No Party – Tedious, just tedious. The singer’s voice is retarded, they’re clearly gay for Toploader, and have written this song expressly with the intention of it getting using in adverts and the other inbetween bits of telly. If I’m ever at one of their parties I’m going to kill myself. After I've dispatched with them and their moronic mates that is.

Ben’s Brother – Carry On - My antipathy to this lot is already known, and nothing has changed with this song, it basically the same song as last time, so I won’t repeat myself. Basically, they really shouldn’t ‘carry on’.

Ja, bitte!

Here's some that didn't make me vomit!

RICHARD HAWLEY – Tonight The Streets Are Ours
I don’t know much about the rest of Hawley’s output, I believe he was in the Longpigs, and is mates with Jarvis, and initially I thought this song might be Cocker’s latest, although Hawley doesn’t have quite enough charisma to fool me for long. Whatever though, it’s charmingly upbeat and just a little bit timeless, which will do for a drab Wednesday afternoon. I have come to accept that my critical faculties have been altered, some might say dulled, by months of listening to Radio 2’s daytime playlist. What of it though - I am content. It’s like valium.

SOPHIE ELLIS BEXTOR - Today The Sun’s On Us
Like Hawley, someone who’s reinvented themselves after Britpop. How many more are there around today? Louise Wener doesn’t count. Anyway, here Sophie manages to take this quite positive lyric and make it sound wistful. I’ve always liked Sophie; she has very good legs.

AMY WINEHOUSE – Tears Dry On Their Own
It took me awhile to notice Amy Winehouse, having for a long time filed her away in the bit of my brain reserved for Glamour magazine, strappy heels and cocktails with the girls. None of which appeal to me, apart from the cocktails, so for ages I ignored her. I realised I was mistaken when Rehab came out, and although she’s clearly heading for a massive crash she really does have a remarkable voice, and this is one of the strongest songs on the album. Also, the world needs pop stars who get fucked up and fall over, and are mouthy and don’t give a shit.

JOSS STONE – Tell Me What We’re Gonna Do Now
A surprise entry in the Ja, bitte! list here, I had no idea who this was the first couple of times I heard it and by the time I found out who it was it was too late; I was already captivated by her overly mature voice, and the straightforward stylings of this track. I guess that’s why I didn’t click that was Stone, I associate her with overblown vocal displays and hideous white soul. As an aside, I love these singers who are basically children, there’s something quite satisfying about watching them go off the rails as time goes by.


THE THRILLS - Nothing Changes Around Here
Does what it says on the tin (the tin says ‘Standard Indie – Non Toxic). I see this lot as methadone to the Shins smack. It’ll do. Although I hear methodone is highly addictive which fucks that analogy out of the water.

Also-rans for the good list: THE REVELATIONS - Baby, I Want You To Know/ GROOVE ARMADA FEAT. MUTYA - Song 4 Mutya/ ARCADE FIRE - No Cars Go

EDIT: Cannot get the link for Joss Stone to work, but what the hell, you all know how to use Youtube, right?

Nein Danke!

Hello! Here I am again with my ramblings. First up, the crap that's been on Radio Two in the last month or so.

AMY MACDONALD - Mr Rock and Roll

Christ this is awful. I’m unclear what it’s about, but there’s something almost nauseatingly embarrassing about her singing about someone being rock and roll. It’s like a shoddy uncle trying to do a hip-hop dance. The music itself is so remarkably uninspired and cliched that its pointlessness is almost remarkable. Almost. Her voice is deeply unsubtle, like a blunt hacksaw. Finally, ‘multicultural’ is not a suitable word for a pop song. And actually, nor are most of the other words in the song, not in this combination at least.

BEN'S BROTHER – Let Me Out

Have you seen (at top) what this lot look like? It’s like an advert for banality. Anyway, song starts with emo piano, alarms bells should be ringing around now. The vocal wanders in, with some shit lyrics, and the voice is a cross between Steve McFadden (on that duet CD he did with Barbara Windsor. Or whatever) and Joe Pasquale. Essentially unpleasant is what I’m saying. The mixed messages in the chorus elevate it from bland to actually annoying (‘Let me out. Or let me in'. WHICH IS IT TO BE?).

JAMES BLUNT – 1973

Born in 1974, the only way James would have been in a club in 1973 is if his pregnant mother had been there, no doubt passively inhaling cigarette smoke, which as we all know can lead to birth defects. I put it to you that James’ birth defect is to be condemned to a life of producing shite, annoying MOR songs.

RUFUS WAINWRIGHT - Rules And Regulations
Rufus’ previous song irritated me so much that I would leave the room when I came on, much like when Big Girl by Mika comes on. His Thom Yorke esque voice is whiny, and just so gloomy. This song sucks the life-force out of me. What fucking rules and regulations are you on about anyway? Cheer up goth.

NELLY FURTADO - In God's Hands

I don’t have much to say about this, but why is it that some singers often do say, two or three great upbeat tracks then follow it up with this kind of drivel?

Also rans: NATALIE IMBRUGLIA – Glorious/ GOLDSPOT – Friday.

Three for Ten Quid

I sometimes go to a little record shop in Reading that sells secondhand CDs at three for ten quid, which usually seems cheap enough to take a chance or to pick up something you've had your eye on but never dared pay full price for.

LFO: Frequencies

I used to have a double CD called Warp Influences, which was early techno and house records. Foolishly, I sold it, but the memory of it was enough to persuade me to choose this album by LFO. I expected it to be more minimalist, but even so it is pleasantly bleepscapist and makes for good background music whilst playing Lego or toy cars, two of my most frequent activities now that I am a stay-at-home dad. There is one track called "Love is the Message", but it sounds like the lady vocalists are cooing "hunt the sausage". Neither message seems particularly relevant to the music, but still. I think this album might be a grower. It begins with a track aligning itself to house pioneers like Phuture and Adonis rather than KLF, but I think it is quite similar to KLF's Chill Out album, a form of easy listening. Perhaps it stuck out more in 1991 when it was released.

The Cramps: Flamejob

This album is now available with loads of extra tracks, but this is the original release on Creation Records from 1994. I was hoping it would put itself forward as the greatest late Creation LP, but unfortunately it is for the most part quite tame, at least by Cramps standards. It ends with three cover versions, which are probably the highlight of the album, including a strangely affecting version of (Get Your Kicks On) Route 66. Thoughtful and sedate, it effortlessly evokes the passing of time, a surprising end to a Cramps album.

Sonic Youth: Rather Ripped

Another album that saves best for last, the closing track here is called "Or" and appears to revolve around fanzine interviews, something Sonic Youth used to make a point of making themselves available for. I conducted one myself on the Daydream Nation tour, and if I'm perfectly honest, I consider that album to be their cut-off point. Still, it's nice, if slightly chilling, to be a small part of this lacerating lyric - "What comes first, the music or the words?". Yes, I asked something very similar. (The answer is jam sessions.) Like the Cramps album referred to above, this LP lacks a certain spark or edge of desperation, and it's a shame the bonus track undoes the good work of "Or" which is a fantastic closer, like "Caroline No".

I bought the above three together. I can't remember what I bought the next one with, but I remember I only bought it to make up the three CDs required to qualify for the cheaper price:

Ministry: Early Trax

Ministry is a group I would like to like, along with spin-off projects like The Revolting Cocks and 1,000 Homo DJs. Here we have some early 12" singles and their accompanying remixes and B sides. They are not blessed with the corrosive guitars of later Ministry records and come across as something like a poor man's Depeche Mode. They do not sound particularly angry or twisted, so to my mind they are not much use. I suppose you could play them at a party, and the album might be a grower, if I ever give it a chance. I have been tempted to check out later Ministry, but I have not got round to it yet.

You may have noticed that these reviews have been written with only the most cursory of listens to the albums in question, so I reserve the right to completely change my mind.

Radio Woohoo More Like

Part two of my monthly round-up.

Feist – 1 2 3 4
Aw, this is lovely. What a nice voice. Hadn’t heard anything by her before, so it’s a bit depressing that I’m discovering stuff though Radio 2 now. Brass instruments and faintly shambolic Kate Bush feel. First place!



The Bees – Listening Man
Really nice production, all retro, if that’s the right description. Lovely, laid back, confident pace. Bit like Clinic but happy not angry.

Travis – Selfish Jean
I railed pretty hard against Travis back in the day, and Coldplay too. It’s clear now that neither band is a fraction as medicore as the dirgemongers they’ve spawned. Anyway, this song is great, all jaunty and compelling. I am converted (in this instance at least).

Unkle Jam – What Am I Fighting For?
I was really surprised to hear this on Radio Two – it feels much more suited to a younger station, and definitely more a night time song. Also the word ‘jam’ is funny. Jam. It’s almost as pleasing in the mouth as ‘Dade’*. Dade. Say it now. Dade. Jam. Jam. Dade. Dade.

Enrique Iglesias - Do You Know?
Starting with the sound of a ping-pong match, this song spent much of the first half of the month in my Bad list, but oddly it’s totally grown on me, but I really can’t explain why. A radio version of Stockholm Syndrome?

Simon Webbe – Grace
Again, a surprise hit. This style of music has never appealed to me, but with Radio Two you take what you can get. This song however, is calm, understated and just plain nice and oh my god you best not play me any Lighthouse Family cos I’ll tell you I’ve changed my mind about them and then I’ll probably start going to church, voting Tory and eating desiccated coconut. This is the slippery slope my parents warned me about. Quick, fetch the Throbbing Gristle box set; this is an emergency.



*As in CSI: Miami (Dade). ‘Sunglasses ON, Horatio, sunglasses ON’

Radio Poo More Like

Hey, me again! I'm making this a monthly thing. Readership of 3, if I'm lucky. My original idea was to list 10 good and 10 bad songs for the last month, as heard on Radio Two. I had too many bad though, and not enough good, so here in part one is my abridged baaaad list. Gooood follows tomorrow. Aren’t you excited!

Mika - Big Girl (You Are Beautiful)

I had time for Mika’s first single. It was charming, vaguely intelligent; I thought he might be an all right kind of cove. How wrong was I? This latest lyrical vomit is utterly awful; I go and lock myself in the bogs when it comes on. People think I’ve got the shits, but I don’t care, I never want to hear this heavy-handed hymn to lardy lasses and how great every single one of them is ever again.

Paul McCartney – Dance Tonight

For me, this song is as surreal as the stuff on Yellow Submarine. The concept of the long-faced Gillian McKeith lookalike providing musical accompaniment to people ‘dancing tonight’ and having fun is just plain weird. Plus is that a ukulele? Unforgivable Paul, you look like a right nonce. No wonder Heather fucked off. She knew this was in the pipeline.

Andrea Corr – Shame On You

First of all Andrea gets some credit for leaving the Corrs. That’s the extent of my goodwill though, as this song is basically a Corrs’ song that has been put through some kind of generic lite dance processing machine in order to give Andrea some edge, I imagine in an unimaginative attempt to buoy her career along for a bit longer. Is ‘MOR Dance’ a genre? Andrea’s just invented it if not.

Gareth Gates - Angel On My Shoulder

In some interview recently GG was explaining how he had a fresh and exciting direction. Whereas Andrea Corr at least has the decency to try something a little edgy (I’m being generous here, ok?) GG has opted to perform a song so overwrought, down tempo and downright tedious that it makes me wonder whether his label isn’t trying to sabotage him from the inside. Genuine queries – who buys this shit? And at what point in one’s day does it feel right to listen to this? Is it for when the Samaritans are engaged*?

Robin Thicke – Lost Without You

Two problems – first this is a sorry excuse for a song, pretty much a textbook example of everything I hate, and second, his name is Thicke. THICKE. Is the final ‘e’ silent or voiced?

Sonny Jim - Can't Stop Moving

When I first heard this I was optimistic but by the second listen it was clear that it’s insubstantial chaff. Chucking together a load of vintage samples and saccarine motivational quotations, a la ‘Wear Sunscreen’ and generally ripping off the Go Team!/ Avalanches may impress Steve Wright but not me. Try harder Sonny Jim.

Scouting For Girls - It's Not About You

“Dear Jim

We really like McFly, even though they’re a bit shit. Can you fix it for us to be like them? Obviously we don’t want to be as good as them cos that would be disrespectful, so can you fix it for us to be a third rate tribute act to a third rate somewhat generic guitar band?

from Roy, Greg and Peter from ‘Scouting For Girls’

Fergie - Big Girls Don't Cry

Some people, myself included would point out that one Anastasia is quite enough for the world. Fergie’s voice on this is pretty weird, strangled and cutesy and all over the place. The one redeeming feature of the song is the unintentional humour in her pronunciation of the line ‘I’m gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket’

Justin Nozuka - Mr Therapy Man

Justin is 12 years old and last year for Christmas he got an acoustic guitar and a random blues lyrics generator. Since then he has put togther some cod blues records, much in the style of tens of other nondescript male singer-songwriters with guitars and sensitive-yet-macho haircuts, and is inflicting them on us. He lives in Luton and although he often sings about his ‘baby’ (who in this song has left him boohoo), he has actually only got as far as brushing up against Laura’s boobs in General Studies.

*I didn’t want to write this, as I know full well the Sams operate a phone system whereby if one branch is busy you’ll get put through to another branch, meaning the phone is always answered. Well done them.

Radio Two baybee

(I figure some posts here wouldn't go amiss! Is anyone reading?

Anyway, I have knocked something up. It follow below. Obviously.)

This is my five best and worst newish tracks as heard on Radio Two in the last week, with brief commentary...

Good

1. Umbrella - Rihanna

The 'ella-ella-ella-eh' part is like catnip to me.


2. World is Outside - Ghosts

Reminiscent of Valentine by the Delays, gets the dance/ rock balance right.

3. Willy Mason ft KT Tunstall - We Could Be Strong

Catchy and charming, with minimal Tunstall. He looks like the sort of chap who would entertain a novelty beard though, so some reservations remain.

4. Samson - Regina Spektor

Not the type of song I usually like, but I like RS, and her voice goes a long way to make a miseryballad or whatever this is into something rather listenable and not heavy handed (take note Natasha Bedingfield)). The video is pretty also.

5. Someone to Love - Fountains of Wayne

A last minute entry here, I've only heard this once, but it sounds interesting.

Bad

1. Last Night I Nearly Died - Duke Special

Offensive voice, terrible sixth formish concept for lyrics, stupid gentle crescendo into repetative nothingness on the chorus.

2. Tiny Dancers - Hannah We Know

Songs by blokes with girl's names in the title in fuck me right off*. Can't actually work out what the song is about, so feel the name is a bit gimmicky. The singer looks like a sickly creep.


3. Cherry Ghost - People Help The People

Just monotonous, over-worthy lyrics.

4. Natasha Bedingfield - Soulmate

This is just painful. Overwrought, whingy, no one cares, woman! Ooh, she knows long words, isn't she clever, not like all the others!

5. Ben's Brother - Rise

Just look at them.

*with the exception of Eleanor Put Your Boots On by the Frank Fergusons.

Top Telly from Irvine Welsh and Someone Else

(I started a new blog but no one read it, so I am repeating it here.)

I am proofreading the subtitles for this new Irvine Welsh TV thing called Wedding Belles. Due to the nature of the job I can only watch it in fits and starts, on a tiny little screen on my computer. Even so, I can tell it's a fantastic piece of work. Apparently it airs on March 29th, and then the DVD will come out, I suppose. My favourite scene is when the crackhead heroine is enjoying her drug of choice whilst listening to Krautrock by Faust, which is one of my favourite pieces of music, punishingly hard psychedelia that seems to go on and on for ever. Then she tries to kill herself. Something about the conjunction of music, image and content makes this scene especially moving to me, even without the benefit of a proper context. I suppose it is because I share her desire for oblivion (at least some of the time), but me being me, I know that after the oblivion wears off I would be right back where I started, if not actually worse off. I suppose this is one of the positive effects of being a negative bastard.

Murphy's Law

(I started a new blog but no one ever read it, so I am repeating it here.)

I had a closer look at my Murphy's Law Series One DVD what I got from Woolworth's for £4 last night. Imagine my surprise to find that it's the same story over and over again:Pilot Episode - Murphy's Law: A team of undertakers are moonlighting as diamond thieves - and the bodies are beginning to stack up. Murphy goes undercover to infiltrate the team and discovers a sinister connection with Japanese heroin dealers. Electric Bill: When Richard Mooney is arrested on suspicion of being 'Electric Bill', London's most infamous kidnapper, Murphy and Annie are in a desperate race against time to locate his latest victim. Mooney isn't talking so Murphy goes undercover in prison to win his trust. Kiss and Tell: A beautiful serial killer is terrorising London's business elite. Murphy goes undercover as a top financier and joins the same health club that the victims belonged to. Now he must date a number of beautiful and sophisticated women, each of whom might be the killer. Manic Munday: A top Irish snooker player is ordered to fix his next game - or die. Murphy and Annie go undercover to protect him - and uncover the sinister organisation behind the death! threats. Reunion: A top member of an east end gang is murdered - and London looks set to be torn apart by a bloody gang war. Murphy infiltrates the ranks of a rival gang and sets about gathering evidence against its leader. But as time starts to run out, and as tension on the streets reaches boiling point, Murphy and Annie find themselves on the front line...Having said that, the Irish snooker player one sounds quite good.