Radio Woohoo More Like

Part two of my monthly round-up.

Feist – 1 2 3 4
Aw, this is lovely. What a nice voice. Hadn’t heard anything by her before, so it’s a bit depressing that I’m discovering stuff though Radio 2 now. Brass instruments and faintly shambolic Kate Bush feel. First place!



The Bees – Listening Man
Really nice production, all retro, if that’s the right description. Lovely, laid back, confident pace. Bit like Clinic but happy not angry.

Travis – Selfish Jean
I railed pretty hard against Travis back in the day, and Coldplay too. It’s clear now that neither band is a fraction as medicore as the dirgemongers they’ve spawned. Anyway, this song is great, all jaunty and compelling. I am converted (in this instance at least).

Unkle Jam – What Am I Fighting For?
I was really surprised to hear this on Radio Two – it feels much more suited to a younger station, and definitely more a night time song. Also the word ‘jam’ is funny. Jam. It’s almost as pleasing in the mouth as ‘Dade’*. Dade. Say it now. Dade. Jam. Jam. Dade. Dade.

Enrique Iglesias - Do You Know?
Starting with the sound of a ping-pong match, this song spent much of the first half of the month in my Bad list, but oddly it’s totally grown on me, but I really can’t explain why. A radio version of Stockholm Syndrome?

Simon Webbe – Grace
Again, a surprise hit. This style of music has never appealed to me, but with Radio Two you take what you can get. This song however, is calm, understated and just plain nice and oh my god you best not play me any Lighthouse Family cos I’ll tell you I’ve changed my mind about them and then I’ll probably start going to church, voting Tory and eating desiccated coconut. This is the slippery slope my parents warned me about. Quick, fetch the Throbbing Gristle box set; this is an emergency.



*As in CSI: Miami (Dade). ‘Sunglasses ON, Horatio, sunglasses ON’

Radio Poo More Like

Hey, me again! I'm making this a monthly thing. Readership of 3, if I'm lucky. My original idea was to list 10 good and 10 bad songs for the last month, as heard on Radio Two. I had too many bad though, and not enough good, so here in part one is my abridged baaaad list. Gooood follows tomorrow. Aren’t you excited!

Mika - Big Girl (You Are Beautiful)

I had time for Mika’s first single. It was charming, vaguely intelligent; I thought he might be an all right kind of cove. How wrong was I? This latest lyrical vomit is utterly awful; I go and lock myself in the bogs when it comes on. People think I’ve got the shits, but I don’t care, I never want to hear this heavy-handed hymn to lardy lasses and how great every single one of them is ever again.

Paul McCartney – Dance Tonight

For me, this song is as surreal as the stuff on Yellow Submarine. The concept of the long-faced Gillian McKeith lookalike providing musical accompaniment to people ‘dancing tonight’ and having fun is just plain weird. Plus is that a ukulele? Unforgivable Paul, you look like a right nonce. No wonder Heather fucked off. She knew this was in the pipeline.

Andrea Corr – Shame On You

First of all Andrea gets some credit for leaving the Corrs. That’s the extent of my goodwill though, as this song is basically a Corrs’ song that has been put through some kind of generic lite dance processing machine in order to give Andrea some edge, I imagine in an unimaginative attempt to buoy her career along for a bit longer. Is ‘MOR Dance’ a genre? Andrea’s just invented it if not.

Gareth Gates - Angel On My Shoulder

In some interview recently GG was explaining how he had a fresh and exciting direction. Whereas Andrea Corr at least has the decency to try something a little edgy (I’m being generous here, ok?) GG has opted to perform a song so overwrought, down tempo and downright tedious that it makes me wonder whether his label isn’t trying to sabotage him from the inside. Genuine queries – who buys this shit? And at what point in one’s day does it feel right to listen to this? Is it for when the Samaritans are engaged*?

Robin Thicke – Lost Without You

Two problems – first this is a sorry excuse for a song, pretty much a textbook example of everything I hate, and second, his name is Thicke. THICKE. Is the final ‘e’ silent or voiced?

Sonny Jim - Can't Stop Moving

When I first heard this I was optimistic but by the second listen it was clear that it’s insubstantial chaff. Chucking together a load of vintage samples and saccarine motivational quotations, a la ‘Wear Sunscreen’ and generally ripping off the Go Team!/ Avalanches may impress Steve Wright but not me. Try harder Sonny Jim.

Scouting For Girls - It's Not About You

“Dear Jim

We really like McFly, even though they’re a bit shit. Can you fix it for us to be like them? Obviously we don’t want to be as good as them cos that would be disrespectful, so can you fix it for us to be a third rate tribute act to a third rate somewhat generic guitar band?

from Roy, Greg and Peter from ‘Scouting For Girls’

Fergie - Big Girls Don't Cry

Some people, myself included would point out that one Anastasia is quite enough for the world. Fergie’s voice on this is pretty weird, strangled and cutesy and all over the place. The one redeeming feature of the song is the unintentional humour in her pronunciation of the line ‘I’m gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket’

Justin Nozuka - Mr Therapy Man

Justin is 12 years old and last year for Christmas he got an acoustic guitar and a random blues lyrics generator. Since then he has put togther some cod blues records, much in the style of tens of other nondescript male singer-songwriters with guitars and sensitive-yet-macho haircuts, and is inflicting them on us. He lives in Luton and although he often sings about his ‘baby’ (who in this song has left him boohoo), he has actually only got as far as brushing up against Laura’s boobs in General Studies.

*I didn’t want to write this, as I know full well the Sams operate a phone system whereby if one branch is busy you’ll get put through to another branch, meaning the phone is always answered. Well done them.